Humans Have a Visceral Need to Belong

Humans have a visceral need to belong

To a community
To a groupTo a tribe

We need to feel accepted and valued.
We need to feel understood.

It’s in our DNA.

Your success is based on your ability to create and nurture a community.

The community is your brand.
The community is where your customers will germinate.
The community is where they start their journey to explore your world..

So how do you build a community?

The short answer is ‘by telling stories’.
Stories connect at an emotional level.
They turn observers into participants.

They suck people in and invite them to try on new ideas in a risk free way. When they accept them, they become their own. People have an implicit trust in their own ideas.

But there’s more to it than that…

There’s relevance.
And there’s frequency.

Let’s take the last one first.

The more you see someone, the faster your relationship develops.

The more conversations you have, the better you get to know them.

The more you give without expectation of receiving, the stronger that relationship becomes.

This applies online just as much as in the real world.

Good relationships mean:

  • We’re more open with each other…
  • Our time together is more enjoyable.
  • We’re more open to taking challenging new ideas onboard.
  • And we're more likely to implement the changes that need to be made… because we want to

This takes time.
For some, more, than for others.

Of all the people in your audience only 3% may be ready to hire you as their coach. Of this 3% only 15% could be ready  in the first 90 days. That means 85% of that 3% could buy from you over the course of the next 18 months.

There is therefore a good reason for nurturing the relationship with your audience.

Imagine it as an organic garden.
Pulling the weeds out by the roots.
Making sure the soil is as fertile as possible…

All these ensure your crops are as prolific as possible.

We give consistently to our garden in order to receive it occasionally.

We are naturally social creatures – we crave friendship and positive interactions, just as much as food and water. We are more connected than ever before, yet we have never been so isolated.

We want to feel acknowledged.
We want to belong to a community.

It’s a process…

  • Attract
  • Engage
  • Motivate
  • Inspire

The better our relationship with someone, the happier they're going to be about trusting us.

In today’s world, everyone is a sceptic.

It’s not surprising.

We are bombarded with sales messages and Ads every minute of every single day. We are blind to 99.99% of them. If we weren’t, we’d be overwhelmed.

So how do you cut through the noise?

Your audience is made up of a group of sophisticated, well educated people who are discerning decision makers.  

They are looking for authenticity.
That means you have to turn up warts and all.

Be open to showing your vulnerability.
That you’ve made those mistakes too.

It means integrity.

Where relationships are concerned, face value is usually without value. People ask a different question to the one they really want answered.

They don’t say what they feel
They don’t think what they say
And they don’t feel what they think

A prospect might ask whether he should go on a sabbatical, when he really wants to talk about how to take his life in a different direction.

A client might ask how you felt about his LIVE video presentation, when he really wants to talk about how not to be so nervous in front of a camera.

Behind the simple questions, there are often much deeper ones that go unasked.

People who build great relationships think about what lies underneath so they can answer that question, too.

When you do this, you grow a tribe, an audience who truly love everything you do and are willing to pay good money to work with you.

Then you’ll have a coaching practice that will stand the test of time.

Understood, you say…
That makes sense

How do you get past the initial resistance... Passed the scepticism? 

The answer is to make the stories we put out relevant to the ideal prospect..

This starts with being specific about who our ideal client is and who it isn’t. Marketing is about knowing that person better than anyone else so you can put yourself in a position to break the ice..

Relate the conversation that is going on inside their own head.
Spell out the vision they have of a better life they want to lead.

Finish the sentence that starts with the words - If only… 

And continues with the word - Then….

Your ideal prospect has to know that you are talking to them specifically then they are more likely to pay attention, at least initially.

Being relevant gives you the chance to transform someone from being an observer to being a participant. To move from standing watching the game to becoming a player in the game.

Once they join you on the pitch, you have to give them the ball. Give them something that will help them move towards the goal… 

Their goal.

This something is called value.Not just any old pearls of wisdom.

But value which is tailored to the right person at the right time in the right place.

Tailor the insight to that moment.
Then it becomes actionable.
It becomes valuable.

They give it a try. It works. They feel great. Step forward with new belief in themselves and a dawning realisation that you may be able to help them some more.

You have just made a connection with someone who feels acknowledged.

They want to know more.
They join your community.
The relationship deepens.

And we’re back to where we started.

Communities are the future of marketing. They envelope your brand and protect it from the competition. They encourage your people to explore other places in your world.

It’s where you plant seeds, germinate them and guide them.

They get to know you.
Build trust in you. 

It’s where you continue to tell stories.

Show them how doing so will help them attract the people they want to talk to.

To find out about the 5 piece story structure I use all the time click here


Rory is a great marketer and coach. He’s really helped me refine my marketing message so it resonates with my target market in a powerful way.

Myrna E Arroyo

What I like working with Rory, is his excellent sense for what is important, step by step. He gives me the structure to do the work I need to do, he is giving excellent feedback and at the same time he honors, that in the end I have to decide how the content of my campaign should look like. He is an excellent sparring - partner and a pragmatic coach, who always points to the simple but effective solutions.

Daniela Bomatter

I chose to work with Rory for his great personality, clarity and expertise. Still, I got way more than I expected. He coached me through a deep marketing process and my outcome was way beyond what I had expected. It had to do a lot with Rory's strong focus and his ability to understand me and my customers. Rory became a good friend that I will always come back to when I need advice about online marketing and how to build better customer relationships.

Paal Christian Buntz - The Wildman Programme

Rory is currently helping build my Life Coaching business, and that includes identifying a target market that I connect with, learning how to speak their language, creating products and services catered to my target market, and creating a minimal viable funnel that will help me market.

My journey with Rory has been really great. He understands me and what I want to deliver, he is a great mentor by seeing the answers within me, and works with me to bring those answers out. If you are feeling stuck in terms of marketing yourself or product/service, Rory is the go to man!

Lana Maher

Boomer Digital is unique because it breaks mindsets that tell us in an older generation that " normal " for me is time to finish . But I am loaded with ideas and inspiration. Boomer Digital is a coach of my generation roaring to me to finish the race with glory not rust out before the starting gun fires.

Just yesterday I became positively irritated about starting out a business. The only available resources were outside my dreams and interests. Here if I don't find the resources I need I see something close enough.

Alan Bowman

I strongly recommend Rory as a strategy and marketing coach for his candid and skilful approach. He’s currently helping me to set up my business and I am finally making good progress with it. Methodology is clear and straightforward and every conversation with Rory represents a major step forward in my journey as he helps me focus, make informed decisions, and move closer to my goal.

Valeria Rosignoli - VR Coaching

Rory is a savvy marketer who can help you build your digital funnel. What a lot of people underestimate in marketing is establishing the basis. If you don't know what you stand for and who you're talking to, your marketing is a shot in the dark. Rory can help you fix this problem and get you going with clarity.

Hannes Kuehn

Rory has a great marketing insight, offers constructive feedback and also helps you better understand your customer so you can more effectively speak to them. His approach helps you focus on what's important and not get caught up in the unnecessary details so you can get your product launched quickly.

Amber Briggs

Rory is an extremely patient and very expert. He is helping me with my sales funnel and I am learning so much from him. He has a way of keeping things simple and profound. I would highly recommend him!

Chengi Tobun - Black Swan Management Group

As a presentation professional, part of my core proposition is that I take a client’s idea and transform it into a compelling story and presentation. This is exactly what Rory did for my marketing messaging. He understood immediately what I wanted to communicate. Rory has a wide breadth of knowledge in all aspects of online marketing. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend him.

Jan Pochop - Founder/CEO, Pochop Presentations

I have been learning the art of marketing with Rory for a couple months now. I have been impressed with how deeply he knows his subject and his ability to make it understandable.

Aman Berry


You don't need another secret tactic or hack that promises much but delivers little -- You need a clear people-focused digital marketing strategy which gives you the mindset and vision you need to succeed. Let's get started.

About Rory

Rory Ramsden is a retiree living in south west France. A lifelong entrepreneur and traveller, he loves to cook and challenge his boundaries by helping others grow their businesses online.

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