Use This 3 Word Writing Tip to Captivate Your Reader

In this post review, I reveal a three-word writing tip that will transform your writing and captivate your reader...

What is the problem you're focussing on in this post?  

RW: This one is going to be employee theft.

RR: OK, so why don't I see that in the first line?

RW: Shrinkage is related to employee theft. Right? That's the industry term. 

RR: Yet, in your third paragraph, you say, there's a real problem with employees embezzling... And you have to put an end to it immediately.

Why don't you take that and cut/paste it onto the top line? So we all know there's a big problem with restaurant employees

Yet, we don't know whether it's anything to do with restaurants yet.

We all know there's a real problem with restaurant employees slicing and dicing their own share of the profits. How do you put an end to that quickly?

I would say the second paragraph... Mitigating shrinkage on your restaurant profits is like to high-level.

The new top line is a lot more specific about the actual problem that is causing the problems with profitability. 

Then the second line is... 

The reason this is happening is that you haven't got eyes in the back of your head -  And you can't keep an eye on everybody all the time. 

And that problem doubles or even triples, depending on the number of outlets you've got.

All right.

And the solution is on the third line... is the one simple method which is cost-effective and doesn't require you to commit huge amounts of time or resources.

That paragraph goes up. See paragraph three... One method.

We're actually we're going to leave that paragraph there.

Then take... the one method is simple... And put it up above.  Confused? Then you need a new second para. 

RW: Right. I need to retool the first. We all know there's a real problem...

RR: Yeah. So now with restaurant employees in the first line. Now, it's clear what you're talking about in the first line. The second line is the reason it's happening... You don't have eyes in the back of your head. And you can't keep an eye on everybody all the time.

And that problem doubles or triples, depending on the number of outlets you've got. 

RW: These days, I learnt how to type.

The third paragraph is one simple solution... 

Not method - solution... One simple solution which is cost-effective... And doesn't require you to commit huge amounts of time or resources. 

...To obtain the desired result or stop the resources that  

RR: Remove that. OK.  Hit carriage return before in. OK. Look at the top three lines there. 

RW: You know, there's a rogue paragraph. 

RR: We all know Da dee da, dee da... Rolled her eyes in the back of her head. OK. No, just we all know there's a real problem. You're just repeating what's already there. 

RW: Oh...

RR: With restaurant employees. Or restaurant staff? I really love the way you want to describe them. Slicing and dicing their own. The unofficial share of your profits. Their own share of your profit.

In brackets and an unannounced.

Or you can put on a staff to share. In the line above. Share. Yeah, OK, so that doesn't give you a better, more clear idea of who you're talking to and what the problem is?

Yes. OK, so what's the second line and second paragraph? Just read the second paragraph again. 

RW: All right. So you don't have eyes in the back of your head and you should keep an eye on everybody all the time. And the problem doubles or triples, depending on how many locations you right? 

So what does that tell you then? 

RR: That's the reason why. The first line exists. Isn't it, in your own head? Look at it. Understand it. Yes. Much clearer.

And then the third line is... What is the one simple solution, which is cost-effective and doesn't require you to commit a huge amount of time or resources?

If you can place a magnet on the refrigerator door and take a picture on your smartphone, you've already got the skills to stop the loss.

What does that mean? 

RW: It's the simplicity of the setup of the system, right? No cabling, no wires.

RR: You're literally going to place some sensors and scan them with a QR code to activate them. It's a very simple solution, which is cost-effective and doesn't require you to commit a huge amount of time and resources...

 It simply boils down to putting a sensor on the door to your precious stock room and activating it.

It takes your picture.  

RW: Yeah. You scan a QR code at the little square link to activate the sensor and put it onto your network.  

RR: So what happens then? Every time the door closes or it opens, it takes a picture or what? 

RW: No, no, no. Every time the door opens or closes, it'll send a notification to your smartphone, letting you know that the door has been opened.

Whether it's the back door or the refrigerator door or the front door windows. Right? Motion sensors.

RR: OK.  Put a motion sensor on the... I would just call it a motion sensor... it is the motion sensor. 

RW: Yeah. Motion sensors. Air sensors. Humidity sensors.  

RR: On the door to your precious stock... So how do I then tie that into one particular employee went in and a piece of fillet steak disappeared.

How do we know that?  

RW: If I skip past all this. Why is that? So there's a trip to the right here. Those rotated and way down here... Would you like to receive a notification on your smartphone as you're closing out the books in the office... That the back door was open?

That after you'd already locked up?

Instead of finding out you lost more inventory the next day?

Right here, you check your security footage because they have a security camera and you catch one of your faithful staff stashing a bag of what appears to be some fancy T-Bone steaks, potatoes, and some heads of cauliflower and broccoli outback... As she grabbed your timecard, punches out and makes a speedy exit with the rest of the crew.  

RR: Okay, why don't you take those two paragraphs and stick it up below the last paragraph three, for instance? 

RW: And get rid of this one.

RR: Yeah. Do you see what's happening now?

RW: We're getting very focused on the problem.  

RR: We've done thing... Going to paragraph three.  

One simple solution is cost-effective and doesn't require you to commit a huge amount of time or resources. And doesn't require you to commit any time

The restaurant owner is completely run off his feet. Simply put. It simply boils down to placing motion sensors in key places.  

Let's move on...

RW: So with the same time and resources, this could be stopped.  

RR:  Simply boils down to placing motion sensors in key places of business, this problem that they're experiencing - Line two - This is the reason why they've got the problem because they don't have eyes in the back of their head. 

RW: I feel like I'm missing a word here..  

RR: ...but don't get too tied up with the flow right now. We just got to structure it right.  

RW: Yeah, OK. I'm just going to put a marker, so I remember to fix it later. 

RR: Give an example of their staff ripping them off... This is in paragraphs four and five.

Here is an example of a restaurant that I was involved with.  A chef in a very busy bistro was removing whole fillet steaks through the back door in the rubbish... At the end of the evening service.
He then waved a cheerful goodbye to everybody, including the owner, and left through the back door. He opened the dustbin and removed his share of the carefully wrapped profits without anybody knowing.  
It wasn't until the owner employed some very expensive security people, that he discovered that this was going on.
And not just once a week.

Imagine how much money he was losing. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of money were disappearing.

Wouldn't you like to receive a notification on your smartphone as you're closing out books in the back office?

I liked to know the back door had been opened after you had already locked up... Instead of finding out you lost more valuable stock the next day. 

All you'd have to do is check your security camera. Match the time with your motion sensor. And BOOM... Caught red-handed.

Step back a second...

If all your staff knew that these motion sensors existed and were tied into the security cameras, do you think they'd even bother to try in the first place? 

They'd have to be pretty dumb to try. 

Part of the problem here is that you're being forced to trust people.

You would never do so if you had an alternative.

And they're taking advantage of that. It's not their fault. It's just that there's no system in the existing management structure that stops it or the deals that.

How do you feel about that? 

RW: Yeah, it sounds great, it flows a lot better. I thought I did pretty good, but you've taken it up a notch.

RR: OK... Do you need carriage return above...  They'd have to be pretty dumb to try?

Let's roll it back up to the top. 

All right. Now we've got 60 percent of the first page dealing with a scenario in which this poor restaurant owner is losing cash because he has no clue that there's some way that he can stop that from happening.

  1. Problem.
  2. Why
  3. Solution.
  4. Example.

RW: OK.

RR: At the bottom, right there? 

RW: Yup.

RR: Now you can go into the solution.  

RW:  All right, OK. I had actually touched on thin profit margins. What's eating away at them.

RR: You could then go on about the number of restaurants that fold in the United States every year because of staff thievery. 

RW: Let's put another.

RR:  That section could finish with a reference to profit margins being thin enough already... Without having to lose profits unnecessarily.

Making profits in the restaurant business is hard enough as it is. The money is tight. When you have razor-thin margins being eaten away by inflation... you could throw in there something on his mind already... 

RW: Inflation.  

RR: Here's the solution after inventory...

RW: And so you want to see what I had for the solution then?

RR: I wrote a post on my timeline yesterday about what the difference is between a solution and a product.

RW: OK, I'll read that. 

RR: Ultimately, your ideal client is all those folks looking for a solution to the problem they have. You are providing a solution to your audiences' problem with no mention of your product... And a product is simply a delivery mechanism for the solution. 

RW: Right. 

RR: Go into what the solution is. Explain this high-tech digital world we're living in where the "Internet of Things" is... where your fridge will soon be able to reorder stock from your favorite suppliers without you getting involved. 

The important thing is that you keep a grip on the whole process. Here's where these emotional sensors I mentioned earlier come into play.

Then you layer in the solution.

You know... 

  • What you need to do is decide on where your most important stock is being held.
  • Make a list of where all your stock is being held. Etc., etc.

They need to go through it before they can order all these motion sensors. 

Okay. That makes sense.

Then when you have laid out the solution, the next step is to put it all in context...

Do you have any examples of restaurants where there's just been installed?  

RW: Not yet, but I can find some...

RR: Right, so they put it in context.

This is what Joe Blow did in "Hell's Kitchen". He saved himself X percentage or increased his profits by X, Y and Z per month.

Right now, you're talking about restaurant owners. It's pretty broad.

That could be anywhere from "Costa Coffee" through to the "French Laundry" fine dining restaurant. What are we going for here? 

RW: Let's say more fine dining and family-oriented restaurants.  

RR:  Anything from a bistro upwards, effectively.

Going for every Tom Dick and Harry who has a McDonald's? No.

You need to make that clear.

After the solution and the steps so you can say... Of course, this isn't for everybody. This is all about restaurants or bistros and high-end dining. For instance, with a real kitchen, with real people who have been trained to a high standard to cook...

These motion sensors are for a,b,c  and not for,  x,y,z

RW: Right...

RR: Bistro, yeah.

RW: Or high-end restaurant. Yep. 

RR: And then you finish it off with a clear call to action which is something like...

"If this makes sense to you and you want to find out more, then the best thing to do is to start by sending me a DM.  We'll have a quick chat to make sure these things are right for you and if they are, you can get started straight away. I look forward to hearing from you have a great day."

That post should be nine hundred to twelve hundred words. 

RW: All right. So I don't need most of the stuff below. Yeah. OK.

RR: Does that make sense? 

RW: Yes. I'll just have to listen to that again so I can finish.

RR:  Now you've got a model to follow. 

The moral of the story is...

  1. Dial in the problem at the top of the page. 
  2. Explain the reason why that problem exists. 
  3. Tell them what the solution is. 
  4. Give an example scenario of why the problem is happening.
  5. Explain the solution without giving too much information... So high-level details of what the solution is. 
  6. Put it all in context by giving an example of somebody who did this. 
  7. Say who it is for. and who it is  NOT for.

RW: High-end bistro.

RR: Yes but be really specific. We're not looking for places with boil in the bag, pre-prepared meals here. Right?

And then a really clear call to action at the end.

Tell them what to do. When to do it.

You could throw in before you get to... Who it's for and who it isn't for... You could throw in a one-liner saying expect to invest $7 billion for example in this system for a 10 unit network.

So they know...

  • What the problem is, you're addressing.
  • What the solution is.
  • The steps are to get it done.
  • Who it's for.
  • Who it's not for.
  • How much it costs.

And they know all this before they even send you a message.

How does that compare with what you were going to do?  

RW: It's much more focused.  

RR: Right. So let's leave it there. Check out my book for more. Bye-Bye. 

WORK TOGETHER

You don't need another secret tactic or hack that promises much but delivers little -- You need a clear people-focused digital marketing strategy which gives you the mindset and vision you need to succeed. Let's get started.

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Rory is a savvy marketer who can help you build your digital funnel. What a lot of people underestimate in marketing is establishing the basis. If you don't know what you stand for and who you're talking to, your marketing is a shot in the dark. Rory can help you fix this problem and get you going with clarity.

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